• Real life is messy, difficult, uncomfortable, and just generally hard. If you’re finding that it’s not, then you need to look for something that will make it harder, which is also hard.
  • To expirience life, to be alive, you have to move towards the hard, uncomfortable things.
  • There are no silver bullets, as Ben Horowitz puts it. Instead, you’ll just have to rain thousands of lead bullets at your werewolf until it goes down.

I’ve learned that much of the life that movies and TV promised me was just downright wrong, and mostly detrimental. I grew up obsessing over content in media and unintentionally using it to building an idea of what to expect from life, especially the “ideal” life.

I neglected the life I had right in front of me, the people around me and the experiences that should have helped build my identity.

As a result, I’ve not only realised that lack of an identity is a problem in adulthood, but I’ve also struggled to establish a meaningful identity after learning this fact. I’m realising that a large part of that has been due to misaligned expectations, the optimistic expectations set by the content I consumed, clouding the truth of how messy and uncomfortable reality is.

The more I fought the truth and waited for life to become easier or more convenient, the more regrets I accumulated.

I’ve instead learned that I need to aim towards discomfort and difficulty, that’s where the meaningful experiences are and where my choices build a sense of identity that is meaningful to me.

I hope you can find yours there too.